Yes. It is not Ricky writing today, but I the ogre. Not that I truly think this, but I did scare myself in the mirror when I got up in the middle of the night. It’s a strange sensation to not be able to recognize yourself in the mirror. I told myself I didn’t care what I looked like, just that I had my function back – to be able to breathe again, functionally chew, and have my chronic pain diminished.

I even feel bad for saying this when some of my other ICR friends need this surgery so bad but can not due to past damage from treatments that were never going to help them or other comorbidities that prevent them from treatment. I have grown more and more thankful that this surgery was an option for me instead of resentful for my recovery time or possible future complications I might have. One friend even told me today my profile was beginning to resemble Denise Richards! I was beginning to think my celeb look alike was Thanos, so I’ll go with this 😃!

Due to how many years I had Idiopathic Condylar Resorption, my surgical movements were much greater in length. I know that my maxilla was moved forward 5mm, my tongue sits so far back in my mouth because that is what it was used to, being cramped. My mandible swung forward about an inch. I am having issues relearning how to swallow now that suddenly overnight I have adequate room in my throat. I accidentally swallow air, push food upwards to the nasopharynx, and sometimes just don’t know what my tongue should do when swallowing. This will be a continued learning experience, and takes longer than you think to relearn. With the large surgical movements, we worried how this would affect my muscles being stretched out so far after years of receding from my changing skeletal structure. One of my largest chronic pain complaints were concerning many small and large muscular systems all around my jaw and neck. So far so good, but I know I am still on some good pain medicine!

Today I have probably felt my best. I’m still feeling overly congested and having trouble not choking during the night due to my maxilla cut (Le Fort 1 piece) discharge and whatever else this intense surgery did to me. Unfortunately, during the surgery, my septum deviated.

My surgeon performed a nice septal suture to keep my nose on my midline (basically my nose in the middle of my face) but we think the anesthesiologist removing the breathing tube deflected it. I can barely breathe out of the left nostril and the septum feels incredibly warped and tight. You can’t see it in the photo but can see the blockage if you looked up my nose. He is going to have me come in tomorrow to try to address it. He will either numb me for this for put me under anesthesia as this can be painful. I hope he is able to be able to pop it back in non surgically, please pray that he can! He is doing me a favor seeing me since the office is closed down due to the weather… I am so grateful to this surgeon and his responsiveness to my messages.

Aside from worrying about the nose and congestion and hearing some interesting little “wake up” noise from my new synthetic joints (I am still banded shut), I was able to eat more soup via syringe and enjoy the freshly fallen snow outside. I talked to friends from home, my ICR friends, and family. You all bring me so much comfort, thank you for your continued messages and checking in on me, I really feel so loved and thankful <3. I also take comfort that I am cared for, I take comfort that friends are spreading awareness on ICR (Idiopathic Condylar Resorption) so that maybe not all cases like mine have to do this extreme surgery or go through all the weird treatments that I had to. Maybe they are able to head straight to it not wasting any time, money or energy on other treatments doomed to fail and create pain patterns. Please keep me in your prayers as we work on my septum in the morning!

In other surgical news (to anyone interested), my coronoid processes did NOT have to be cut! They did not interfere with the counterclockwise rotation, so Dr. Sullivan only had to shear off a little of the muscle connecting to them. I was not expecting this. I was also able to keep a lot of my lateral pterygoid muscles since having my ICR “burn out” let these muscle groups creep down my condyle into a place where the doctor did not have to amputate. I don’t recommend the “burn out” as a viable healthcare solution to this, it’s just one nice remediation I suppose. So with this I hope to have better side to side movements with the total joint replacements.

Also, I can raise both my eyebrows which I am stoked about. I could feel my palate the first day but now it is completely numb. My chin is also completely numb but feelings are returning to my lips in little ticklish jolts. The left side of my nose with the deviation is numb but the right isn’t. I also can not feel touch currently under my eyes or on my cheeks. My hearing has come back but I still plan to go to an ENT maybe at some point so he can take a look and clear out any blood that may have dripped down into my ear canal from the surgery. Here is a short vlog over my ability to speak, swelling, and incisions. I think it will be cool to document my increased healing, which is something I was curious about before considering this surgery

Ogre out ✌️